Satire

MHISC is encouraging all member manufacturer employees to celebrate Bring a Tree to Work Day Thursday July 29.

The event is a follow-up to last year’s success Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. This year every employee at manufacturing facilities serving South Carolina is being urged to bring a large tree from their home.

The event will have two purposes according to Schult Manufacturing Executive Brian Rowland, “One is to have a fun day that will build fellowship yatta, yatta, yatta.”

“The other is lumber is hard-to-get and pricey.” he said. “If we can get every employee to bring in a large tree—at their own expense—it’ll be a big boost to the bottom line.”

The pandemic and other factors have made items like glue, lumber and other building materials scarce.

“Our next fun event will be Gorilla Day,” Rowland said. “Everybody will be bringing a tube of Gorilla Glue to the plant.”

Bonhomie Homes has introduced a new line of homes for Americans 5’ 5” and under.
The homes will feature smaller doors, appliances built by Fisher-Price, and ceiling heights up to 5’9”. Bedrooms with be three feet shorter to accommodate the smaller beds used by mini-Americans.
CEO Phil McCracken said the new line of homes was inspired by the whooping 300% increase in lumber prices since last year. “Why make customers pay for houses with big long pieces of lumber when they don’t really need it. This is our way of doing something for the altitudinally challenged people of our great country.”